Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
