Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
