what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
