Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
