It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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