If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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