farters have to be the big spoon...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
