forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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