i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
