he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
