I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
