This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
