I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
