the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
