I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My feet surprised me
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