you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
