so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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