Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
