It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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