That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Randomize
