Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
