Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
