If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
