Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize