What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
