i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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