Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
