The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
