During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
