I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she told me i tasted like america
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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