He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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