He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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