you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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