I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
