This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
