i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
