the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
