you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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