he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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