Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
