Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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