3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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