I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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