so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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