Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
