I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
