the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
