Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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