Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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