I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
