Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
