i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
